Thursday, May 04, 2006

Shotgun Friday...Late Thursday Edition

Major Mike

Oooops I Did It Again

It seems Kaavya Viswanathan’s non-excuse excuse from last week didn’t quite hold up…seems that she is now busted for being under the simultaneous hypnosis of other authors…

The Harvard Crimson student newspaper, alerted by reader e-mails, reported Tuesday on its Web site that "Opal Mehta" contained passages similar to Meg Cabot's 2000 novel, "The Princess Diaries." The New York Times also reported comparable material in Viswanathan's novel and Sophie Kinsella's "Can You Keep a Secret?"

In Cabot's "The Princess Diaries," published by HarperCollins, the following passage appears: "There isn't a single inch of me that hasn't been pinched, cut, filed, painted, sloughed, blown dry, or moisturized. ... Because I don't look a thing like Mia Thermopolis. Mia Thermopolis never had fingernails. Mia Thermopolis never had blond highlights."

In Viswanathan's book, page 59 reads: "Every inch of me had been cut, filed, steamed, exfoliated, polished, painted, or moisturized. I didn't look a thing like Opal Mehta. Opal Mehta didn't own five pairs of shoes so expensive they could have been traded in for a small sailboat."”

Seems she is so mesmerized by what she reads that her synaptic functions cannot sort out the difference between her original thoughts and what she has read…how weird.

A quick scan of the NYC papers, still reveals several MSM news magazine producer roles available, and several positions still open at the NYT and the LAT…she should easily land on her feet. Schumer’s hit teams may also have some openings for fiction writers.

If this doesn’t come back to bite her…

Meanwhile, The Record of Bergen County said Tuesday that it will review the news articles Visvanathan wrote for the 180,000-circulation daily paper in northern New Jersey while an intern in 2003 and 2004.

Editor Frank Scandale said The Record, which has written several of its own articles about the plagiarism allegations, will hire a service to vet the dozen or so light features she wrote while one of about 18 interns at the paper.”

Good luck with that writing career.

Dixie Chicks Update

The DCs have catapulted up the Billboard Charts five spots to # 23 with their smash hit…”Not Ready To Make Nice”.

I wonder if this meteoric rise is any indication of their potential future success.
They would probably have to count on collective memory failure of much of the US population for them to return to their previous level of success. Maybe they should get ready to make a sincere apology, and better music.

Hey, good luck with that new hit.

The Apple Lands Close to the Tree

Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) was involved in a single car accident in which alcohol was apparently not involved. I guess we’re lucky he was nowhere near water when the combination of drugs he claims to have taken, Phenegram and Ambien, caused him to plow into barricades just blocks from the Capitol. The disoriented and confused Rep. from RI, apparently thought, that at 3 am, he was urgently needed back in the House to vote on a critical House resolution affirming the role of MADD in lowering deaths on the highway. Luckily, he claims, he had not been drinking.

Kennedy claims that he took the Phenegram and Ambien at about midnight, and then, because of the urgent nature of the legislation, awoke to perform his critical role in the House. I usually take a combination of drugs, then get up in the middle of the night and drive my car.

For those in RI who elected him, even if what he says happens to be true,..THIS GUY HAS ALL OF THE JUDGEMENT OF A CHOCOHOLIC IN A GODIVA STORE. Dump him next go around…he’s unfit and dangerous.


"The two officials said officers at the scene reported seeing the car swerve before the crash and said Kennedy appeared intoxicated."

Hmmm. Bars close at what time? He’s driving at what time? Which explanation is closer to the mark?

Did I mention he is the son of Sen. Ted Kennedy…who also has a history of poor driving at night?

Good luck with that story.


Hungarian boozers are complaining to the Import Minister that they got shorted on a cask of imported rum. After an extensive period of nipping at the keg, they inexplicably ran out. They noted the weight of the “empty” kegger, and were surprised that it still was difficult to tip for the last savory drops of Jamaican rum.

Not deterred, they followed the protocol long established by college students world wide, and broke into it. It was then they discovered the half naked body of a man that had been pickled in the cask. Yummy.

Apparently, this was cheaper than sending the deceased home FedEx when he expired…some 20 years before, in Jamaica. Yummy. The wife had long since checked out, so his discovery was a shock to all.

Those that partook seemed to enjoy the “special taste.” Yummy.

Dueler adds…

"that's one stiff drunk!"

"talk about dead drunk!"

"got a little Captain in you?"

Good luck with that drinking problem. Comments welcome.

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