Major Mike
I listened to as much of the Judge Roberts confirmation hearings as humanly possible for a knucklehead trying to hold down full time employment, so I caught maybe forty percent of the hearings. I probably didn’t catch all of the whoppers, but I did get a few lasting impressions.
The first stream of questioning by the Democrat Senators on Tuesday revealed an arrogance that was built on over-confidence and coupled with an aristocratic snobbishness. It was sad to see these Senators wallow in the delivery of their impromptu remarks that were sandwiched between questions that had been prepared for them by some Democrat lawyers with too much time on their hands. It was clear that they were asking questions, delivered through myriad of mired soliloquies, that they barely understood. And when their questions were ably answered by a man who possesses an intellect on Constitutional law logarithmically ahead of theirs,…they were left naked before the world. They were done after Senator Leahy’s first thirty minute spanking.
Senator Leahy had faced the Black Beast of Auuuugh and he was soundly defeated. The remainder of Leahy’s brave Ka-nig-its failed to recognized the deadliness of the beast and continued their attacks on the Cave of Caerbannog, but to no avail… It went like this…
ARTHUR:
What, behind the rabbit?
TIM:
It is the rabbit.
ARTHUR:
You silly sod!
TIM:
What?
ARTHUR:
You got us all worked up!
TIM:
Well, that's no ordinary rabbit!
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
TIM:
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
ROBIN:
You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!
TIM:
Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
GALAHAD:
Get stuffed!
TIM:
He'll do you up a treat, mate.
GALAHAD:
Oh, yeah?
ROBIN:
You mangy Scots git!
TIM:
I'm warning you!
ROBIN:
What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM:
He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ARTHUR:
Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
BORS:
Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
They continued, until yesterday, to face the Black Beast of Auuuugh in the Cave of Caerbannog…each time with the same result. Their lightweight understanding of the Constitution and their filibustering was no match for the rabbit. Their thrusts were parried with all the effort that it takes to sleep. It was more an endurance contest than a battle of wits…and the Dems were out matched on all fronts…by the rabbit.
Their well-researched, prepared questions were fumbled by the wallowing delivery of each Senator. They quickly cut off the rabbit’s responses, and changed the subject when their thin knowledge of the material they had been fed was gobbled up by the rabbit and spat back at them.
Their narcissism was revealed and reviled in the discussions about the legislative history of some laws enacted by congress. As if the merits or the lobbying efforts of a particular piece of legislation are enough to push Congressional power AROUND the Constitution. Is the law not obvious to the Senators…? A well- intentioned and meaningful piece of legislation may still be un-Constitutional. The way to get this changed is not but garnering more support, and getting more committee endorsements, it is by changing the Constitution…any other process unbalances the power within our government. The rabbit calmly goes about the business of educating the panel…many of which are lawyers.
They attempted to use the hypothetical to slay the rabbit…but the rabbit was not vulnerable to the easily recognized trap. The rabbit move confidently around the mouth of the cave, avoiding each of the carefully laid, but clumsily disguised obstacles.
Finally when they had exhausted all of their weapons, they went to Ka-nig-it Schumer, who finally asked the rabbit bluntly “Kind rabbit, how may I defeat you?” The unharmed rabbit replied…”Sir Ka-nig-it, you have done a marvelous job of attacking me, you have used all of the right weapons, you have even made me work a bit. You have done a good job in trying to defeat me.” But, alas the rabbit remained in front of the cave. And the Ka-nig-its retreated.
If they had only possessed the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
Although, after this performance, I am not sure they would be able to understand the directions.
The instructions for its use are in the "Book of Armaments" (Chapter 2, verses 9-21), as follows: "And the LORD spake, saying, first shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither thou count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
What perfect Ka-nig-its they made.
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